Update: The Errors of My Soul Part I

If I leave here tomorrow, will you remember me? If you do, what will you remember me for?

---

With each new scar to my flesh, I question whether I should acquire tattoos. These scars of my are naturally occurring tattoos. I always felt that way, but it wasn’t until I met Infinite where I stood on that way of thinking. He has a burn scar that takes up most of his chest & parts of his neck and arm. He was a child, taking the lid off of one of those boiler pots. It fell on him. He said he screamed so loud, his neighbor heard it. It curled her blood. My first scar was similar to his, but it wasn’t a burn. I was a fifteen months old. On a Thursday night, an event took place that resulted in the scar on my head. I don’t recall if I screamed. I mean, how could I? My mother remembers every detail though. It wasn’t her fault. She was at work. The person watching me is all to blame, but that’s a dead subject. Anyways, I say all that to say, in the last seven days, I’ve gained three new scars! Two of them, on my arm. The third, in a place unseen to the eye.

Before, I recall saying how I didn’t want to be so open with my life on here, but I take that back. I want to be vulnerable for you all once more. It’s too many emotions for me to process that I can’t. Too many memories to share that I don’t. I have a social battery & once it runs out, I have to hide. I’m good at discerning the emotions of others around me, but I can’t express my own. On the off chance that I do, I run away from these feelings. Sometimes, I hurt myself so I don’t feel them. So, allow me to open up again. It’s been a while. You all deserve an update.

This is just part one of another post. I want to fully process my emotions & debate my thoughts before I argue with God & shed my tears publicly. Everything is to be televised so I must make sure that if I make an error, it's on purpose.

In meantime, enjoy this photo!

---

When I go I don’t mind if people don’t remember me. When you’re dancing, you’re not thinking about how tired you are or the next song, you just want to enjoy the dance. We live in the moment, day in & day out. If I could, I would make for my children to never forget me. For the one who I decide to share my life with to never forget me. That’s love that transcends time; forever & faithful entwined into apage love. So if I leave here tomorrow, you don’t have to remember me, but if you do remember me, remember me for my heart.

My heart hopes that each person who has made their way to this page is granted mercy, peace, love & a joy that overflows within the soul. May your spirit be recharged & refreshed as you find rest from the tiring day. I appreciate you, your time & your attention. These are very costly things. Thank you. I love you, but not as much as God loves you.