Update: Just Chatting

My room looks like chaos, a true recipe for success. I'm tempted to share a photo.

As you can see, I did in fact take a photo. I just felt this was a moment that needed to be recorded. My room is normally messed up, not in a "dirty" type of way, but in a sense of not having enough space for all the things I have. My brand is consuming my room. It takes up so much of the free space. It's nice. I have to remember these moments because when I get that loft with the ample space, that backdrop for photography & such & such, it'll be a different set of issues like, "Geez, I think I need to find a new place, this rent too real." But I doubt one of the issues will be rent, just saying, I'm grateful. I love this, even if it's not what I imagined it would be like.

So, the cropped crewneck, I still have to meet with my fit model. I believe she's coming over this Sunday. She's been going through some personal things. I feel the need to keep her in prayer. But once she do come over & try it on, it's over. I already ordered four different colors of the same crewneck to make more & somebody is waiting on me to make a black one right now. I think they got Cash App, but I only accept Venmo. But yes, it's White, Jet Black, Kelly Green, Royal Blue & Red. Those are the only colors I'm doing. Once I get this out, I know it's going to go. It's cute, it's solid colors & it's a comfortable crop top. Girls wanna show they stomach this summer fam. I'm just trying to provide the opportunity.

Just to add, if you are starting a business, please use Venmo for payments. PayPal takes a lot in fees & Cash App takes like 2.75%. Venmo take 1.9% plus 10¢. Venmo also has a a starter kit with QR codes to accept payments. I got mine for free. God is so good. I stay getting blessed, not to boast or brag about it. I'm just saying, this might be the best for a starting business if you're trying to do it the right way. No, they not sponsoring me. Just wanted to share. This might help someone.

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Personal Thoughts

I don't speak too much on the things that bother me or the actions of others as much as I used to. I notice things & don't tell people about it. This has nothing to do with anything other than what people do to me, or what they're thinking of me. It's like, I know you're watching me. I know you're talking about me. I know you're calling me everything but a child of God, but in your heart, you're proud of me & it hurts you to see that. I don't know why it hurts. I hope it turns into something you can use to be productive. I wish I was more productive. I wish I didn't feel the need to save the world, but if I could, I would had saved you first. I wonder how many people would ever think to say such a statement to me.

Sometimes, I wish I had my very own me to support me. Not sometimes, a lot the time. It's hard to accept praise, especially when you feel you should be somewhere further in your journey, when you feel helpless & sick, but you're still pushing. When you finally get that much needed break from the stress & pain, but you spend all that time on things that make you happy, but not your future self happy so you're upset that you wasted it all. You know you didn't waste it, but you feel like you did. Your imagination is your best friend. You can taste the sea salt from the ocean mist as sand particles shift under the weight of your feet. A vacation is a year away, but you're already there mentally. You're going to make it & can't no one tell you otherwise. Can't no one tell you how to do better because you giving it your best & you not letting up. You've already followed people who failed to keep their promises, who convinced you that their dreams were worth more than all of yours.

I didn't even mean to write such a long post. I was just going to drop a paragraph, no photos & such just to drop a post. Ending up sharing my thoughts & some of my plans. There's so much more I'm trying to do before the end of the summer. Photo shoots, adverts on more than social media, traveling to places to meet people because they want to meet me, interviews, custom pieces, so much. It's all coming, I know. Step by step, I'll make it & cherish every moment. The bitter parts, the pieces dripping with joy, even the times I wish I could have avoided. Can't do nothing but keep going.

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I wish you all success. I appreciate who ever took the time to read this. Have a blessed day. I love you.